From 6ede42828d8df72c1add7ac740fc35c4f32b9933 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: emmaachesongray <168454683+emmaachesongray@users.noreply.github.com>
Date: Mon, 16 Sep 2024 14:54:27 +0000
Subject: [PATCH 1/2] content change

---
 .../teacher-training-personal-statement.md       | 16 +++++++++-------
 1 file changed, 9 insertions(+), 7 deletions(-)

diff --git a/app/views/content/how-to-apply-for-teacher-training/teacher-training-personal-statement.md b/app/views/content/how-to-apply-for-teacher-training/teacher-training-personal-statement.md
index 802d97a7b0..1efcf728ee 100644
--- a/app/views/content/how-to-apply-for-teacher-training/teacher-training-personal-statement.md
+++ b/app/views/content/how-to-apply-for-teacher-training/teacher-training-personal-statement.md
@@ -52,15 +52,17 @@ You do not have to write it all at once – you can start it and come back to it
 
 Your personal statement can be up to 1000 words. 90% of successful candidates write 500 words or more.
 
-You could include: 
+## What should I write about in my personal statement?
 
-* skills you have that are relevant to teaching 
-* any experience of working with young people 
-* your understanding of why teaching is important 
-* your reasons for wanting to train to be a teacher 
-* any activities you’ve done that could be relevant to teaching (such as first aid courses, sports coaching or volunteering) 
+Your personal statement should include:
 
-Teacher training providers want to see your passion and that you understand the bigger picture of teaching.
+* why you want to be a teacher
+
+* why you want to teach the subject or specialism you're applying - for primary, describe why you want to teach this age group  
+
+* the experience and personal characteristics you have, and why they would make you a great teacher 
+
+You can include any information you think is relevant to demonstrate your knowledge, qualifications, and experience. Teacher training providers want to see your passion and that you understand the bigger picture of teaching.
 
 ### How to write your personal statement
 

From 736db1d344aad4586dead730dd1353aaec794e38 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001
From: emmaachesongray <168454683+emmaachesongray@users.noreply.github.com>
Date: Tue, 17 Sep 2024 15:52:32 +0100
Subject: [PATCH 2/2] Apply suggestions from code review

---
 .../teacher-training-personal-statement.md                    | 4 ++--
 1 file changed, 2 insertions(+), 2 deletions(-)

diff --git a/app/views/content/how-to-apply-for-teacher-training/teacher-training-personal-statement.md b/app/views/content/how-to-apply-for-teacher-training/teacher-training-personal-statement.md
index 1efcf728ee..5188847f60 100644
--- a/app/views/content/how-to-apply-for-teacher-training/teacher-training-personal-statement.md
+++ b/app/views/content/how-to-apply-for-teacher-training/teacher-training-personal-statement.md
@@ -58,11 +58,11 @@ Your personal statement should include:
 
 * why you want to be a teacher
 
-* why you want to teach the subject or specialism you're applying - for primary, describe why you want to teach this age group  
+* why you want to teach the subject or specialism you're applying for - if you're applying for primary, describe why you want to teach this age group
 
 * the experience and personal characteristics you have, and why they would make you a great teacher 
 
-You can include any information you think is relevant to demonstrate your knowledge, qualifications, and experience. Teacher training providers want to see your passion and that you understand the bigger picture of teaching.
+You can include any information you think is relevant to demonstrate your knowledge, qualifications, and experience. Teacher training providers want to see your passion and that you understand what a career in teaching involves.
 
 ### How to write your personal statement