"You are fired!", said the letter delivered by postal mail. Mammad Kabiri - the Department head and chief of no-container services - hasn't called since the beginning of the first corona lockdown in March and the closing of the office.
"Call Mammad Kabiri", said the letter, "to return and hand-in the companies' computer."
Three month later in December the company computer is still waiting for pick up in the home office. Mammad Kabiri hasn't called yet. Mr. No Call. No Container. No Code.
The reason for getting fired: "You do NOT respond to phone calls!"
o o o
Three month later (on December 21st, 9am) the first phone call from management. Georg Gfrerer - the Division head and chief no-code pega bullshitter is on the line.
"You haven't worked in the seven months out of your home office at all! No code! You want us to pay you for three more months as is the law and custom in Austria? Ha. You're fired!"
Via back channels I arranged to finally get a fixed date and time (December 21st, 2pm) to enter the office - under the supervision of two security guards - to get back my personal belongings (many books, and more) and clear out my pre-corona / covid-19 era desk.
Georg Gfrerer continues "Now listen boy, here's the deal. You bring along the companies' computer from your home office and we let you in to get your books."
"No computer. No books. Do you copy?"
I am about nintey-minute away from the big city and the office tower.
"Thanks for calling! The deal is - I pick up my books and you pick up your computer - send somebody you are a big important man."
"No computer. No books. Do you copy? This is private property you're stealing! I send you the police. Your book pick up is called off", and the call is over.
o o o
Four month later (on January 20th, 2021):
"I am working from home! I have got no mail! What registered postal letter are you talking about?"
writes back Wolfgang Küchl - the head of the personnel department.
"Tell me the addressee and I have a looksie."
On the back channel the full-time works council employee writes back:
"I can definitely absolutely for sure tell you nothing about your letter! May I suggest therapy and looking for professional help. Leave me alone!"
In the email I typed in the letter at the end - reading:
REGISTERED LETTER
To: Uniqa Software Service
I write back:
"Dear Mr. Küchl, please tell me if you find the postal letter in the digital archive."
All the paper post gets sent cross-border (from Austria to Slovakia) to the companies' "nearshore cheaper labor" scanning center and digital copies archived and I assume forwarded by the artificial back office intelligence if it's your lucky day.
And I end:
"And, please tell me if and when I can expect an answer, statement or quip. Thank you. Your former 10-year loyal servant."
Nothing. Nada. Silence.
Back in September 2020 Mr Küchl fired off the "You are fired!" email and sent a registered postal letter without calling or even sending me an email to ask what's going on. The made-up cause: I didn't respond to a forwarded email within a week from the personnel department on the state of my working hours in the companies' time booking system. Now two weeks have passed and Mr. Küchl hasn't answered (or responded to phone calls).
o o o
"We found your letter!", Wolfgang Küchl writes back. "What part of 'You are fired!' do you NOT understand? The cause is just and we do NOT tell you. Of course we will NOT pay you the three-month required by law."
"If you want your computer books back from the locked down office, call Mr. Mammad Kabiri to ask for a date or try 1-451-FARENHEIT."
"One more thing - please wrap up the companies' computer and send it back to us! We pay you back any expenses. You can trust us! Bonus: For an easter egg gift wrap or a 'Love Conquers All' card."
I write back:
"You can pick up the computer. Just call for a date!"
Four month after getting fired and ten month after the office lockdown Mr. Mammad Kabiri hasn't called yet.
How many self-directed coders sprinting the agile way in a waterfall software factory organization does Mr. Kabiri manage while pulling in $200 000+ per year? Now seven (down one from eight).
o o o
In February Pre-Corona / Covid-19 Mammad Kabiri sends out an email to all coders about the latest change to the Microsoft Windows 10 office desktop.
Mammad Kabiri is a proud member of the (career boosting) working group responsible to manage the world's most secure Microsoft Windows desktop - as advertised (and self-proclaimed) by the companies' service arm in trade magazines in Austria - that can be summed up: "No rights. No downloads. No installations. No container. No code." (And yes, if you ask Internet Explorer is our one and only web browser).
Before: If you are a priviledged coder you are granted privilege access to a "magic" network share drive. In this "magic" network share drive you can download / upload programs for installation on your secure desktop.
If you were lucky that round-about way was the only way to get programs needed for work installed on your secure desktop - with a here be dragons warning that the "magic" net share installation may work or may not - you are on your own, please do NOT ask for any support or help.
After: Policy change! The full-time on-staff security team has been watching this "magic" network share drive for a long time with big, big worries.
Going forward the priviledged coders have no longer write access to the "magic" network share drive. If you want to try your luck on installing a program that you think you need for work you can now download / upload programs to a new "inbox" network share drive.
Once a week the security staff tries to have a looksie and if it is your lucky day will move the program for installation to the "magic" network share drive.
I talk to and send a mail to Mammad Kabiri in protest (and cancel my upcoming in two weeks in-house coding workshop for the coder colleagues that I volunteered no less - without installations to get started what can I do? No code is the future of software.).
Mammad Kabiri's answer summed up: Please, shut up. You can leave any time. The sooner the better.
Thank you! I canceled your room booking and workshop event!
o o o
Nine month later (on June 8th, 2021 - 10am) - the first day at the labour court.
With the legal and financial help from the Arbeiterkammer (Austrian Chamber of Labour)
I filed a legal claim asking to
uphold Austrian law, that is, the three-month contract term on termination without cause
and to get back three-month of (stolen) salary (~$10 000).
Mr Mammad Kabiri and the personnel chief Mr Wolfgang Küchl obviously do not entertain such legal nitpicking - "What part of 'You are fired!' do you NOT understand?!"
Let us teach you about "Free Enterpise!"
and how two apparatchiks in a billion dollar insurance company in no financial distress
pulling in salaries beyond $200 000+ per year
can fire a loyal employee with 10+ years of service at-will and harass you to no end!
Required by the court proceedings the big corrupto lawyers filed the answer in writing:
Yes, big corrupto acknowledges that Mr Gerald Bauer has been employed as a code monkey at our enterprise since 2009.
Yes, Mr Wolfgang Küchl - the personnel chief - and Mr Mammad Kabiri - the employee's department manager -
fired Mr Bauer on September 23rd 2020 in writing (per email and per registered letter) without warning and effective immediately.Hold on! Yes, Mr Wolfgang Küchl issued a warning in writing back in February (!) before the first lockdown BUT yes, Mr Mammad Kabiri never sent or told Mr Bauer or anybody else (incl. the workers' council) about the warning.
Fired without cause?
Yes, Mr Mammad Kabiri hasn't talked to Mr Bauer since the lockdown in March [on purpose - continuing the "pre-corona" Please, Leave Now! Why Are You Still Here?! passive-aggressive harassment campaign]
and, thus, Mr Mammad Kabiri can tell you that Mr Bauer hasn't worked at all! The missing time-sheet that records all hours proves the point. No time-sheet! No hours! No work![Why ask Mr Bauer's day-to-day product manager [from a different department]? Obviously, Mr Mammad Kabiri is the only official and formal manager that counts. Full stop.]
We ask the judge to uphold Free Enterpise! and throw out Mr Bauer's absurd claim of getting terminated according to Austrian law and getting paid (~$10 000 for three month). We reserve the right to counter file to get back seven month of paid-out salary for pretenting to work from home!
The proceedings open - The judge asks:
"Have you come up with an out of court deal to settle the case?"
"Yes, your honor - Mr Bauer accepts to get back half of the (stolen) three-month salary (that is, ~$5 000) and with that we are happy to settle and withdraw the case."
"Hold on! One more thing!" says the big korupto corporate lawyer.
"We ask Mr Bauer to destroy all of his writings about this case."
The judge asks "Is that all?"
"One more thing!" says the corporate lawyer:
"We ask Mr Bauer to sign that Mr Bauer will never ever again write anything about Mr Mammad Kabiri and Big Korupto!"
The judge asks "Is that all?"
"One more thing!" says the corporate lawyer:
"As a bonus we ask for a five-minute video recording where Mr Bauer praises Mr Mammad Kabiri and Mr Wolfang Küchl of Big Korupto as paragons on how to handle a termination with a human touch and grace during the corona pandemic crisis."
"We might even use it in our corona pandemic ad campaign that runs with the tag line "We care about you. In person, per phone, per internet - We are always near and here for you! [To sell you another insurance policy.]"
The judge asks "Is that a deal?"
"May I suggest - Why not ask that I blow myself up? That way I am gone forever from the world as you wish and you do not need to trust that I break the silence."
o o o
Three month later in October 2021 - day two of the court proceedings:
Mammad Kabiri has been invited to break his year-long silence and tell in court why he neglected his duties to support Mr. Bauer in working from home during the corana lockdown or what's up with his five-year non-stop passive-aggressive harassment campaign to get Mr Bauer to quit and resign on his own...
To be continued...