index.babel

$(document).ready(function() {
  var quotes = ["And this is the snack holder where I can put my beverage, or, if you will, cupcake.~Homer Simpson",
    "My eyes! The goggles do nothing!~Rainier Wolfcastle",
    "Which one of you is the mailman?~Abraham Simpson",
    "I used to rock and roll all night and party every day. Then it was every other day... now I\’m lucky to find half an hour a week in which to get funky.~Homer Simpson",
    "Remember Alf? He\’s back: in pog form!~Milhouse VanHouten",
    "I don\’t wanna look like a weirdo. I\’ll just go with a muumuu.~Homer Simpson",
    "You go through life, you try to be nice to people, you struggle to resist the urge to punch \’em in the face, and for what?~Moe Szyslak",
    "There\’s something about flying a kite at night that\’s so unwholsome.~Marge Simpson",
    "You don\’t win friends with salad!~Everyone",
    "Slow down, sir, you\’re going to give yourself skin failure!  Okay, now, the symptoms you describe point to \’bonus eruptus\’, it\’s a terrible disorder where the skeleton tries to leap out the mouth and escape the body!~Dr. Nick Riviera",
    "Slow down! The sidewalk\’s for regular walkin\’, not for fancy walkin\’.~Jasper Beardly",
    "In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!~Homer Simpson",
    "You\’ll have to speak up: I\’m wearing a towel.~Homer Simpson",
    "The doctor said I wouldn\’t have so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger outta there.~Ralph Wiggum",
    "I think women and seamen don\’t mix.~Whelan Smithers",
    "All I\’m gonna use this bed for is sleeping, eating, and maybe building a little fort.~Homer Simpson",
    "The most rewarding part was when he gave me my money~Dr. Nick Riviera",
    "Call this an unfair generalization if you must, but old people are no good at everything~Moe Szyslak",
    "Ralph, Jesus did not have wheels.~Ms. Albright",
    "Marge, I agree with you, in theory. In theory, communism works. In theory.~Homer Simpson",
    "Oh wow. Windows. I don\’t think I could afford this place.~Otto Mann",
    "If a cow ever got the chance, he\’d eat you and everyone you care about.~Troy McClure",
    "Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had a goldfish? Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? Why did I have the bowl?~Milhouse VanHouten",
    "Shoplifting is a victimless crime, like punching someone in the dark.~Nelson Muntz",
    "If you don\’t learn roman numerals, you\’ll never know the date certain motion pictures were copyrighted.~Edna Krabappel",
    "Yes, Bart\’s a tutor now. Tute on, son! Tute on!~Homer Simpson",
    "Remember: if you get lost, you can always find east by staring directly at the sun.~Bart Simpson",
    "Ah, there\’s nothing more exciting than science. You get all the fun of sitting still, being quiet, writing down numbers, paying attention... Science has it all!~Seymour Skinner",
    "The box says it\’s a perfect way to spend the day. And why would a box lie to a person?~Marge Simpson",
    "Can\’t we have one meeting that doesn\’t end with us digging up a corpse?~Diamond Joe Quimby",
    "A man who envies our family is a man who needs help.~Lisa Simpson",
    "I can\’t even say the word \’titmouse\’ without giggling like a schoolgirl.~Homer Simpson",
    "Marge, this ticket doesn\’t just give me a seat, it also gives me the right, no, the duty to make a complete ass of myself.~Homer Simpson", "Um, can you repeat the part of the stuff where you said all about the things?~Homer Simpson",
    "Nothing you say can upset us: we\’re the MTV generation.~Bart Simpson",
    "I hope you learned your lesson, Lisa: never help anyone.~Homer Simpson",
    "What\’s the point of going out? We\’re just gonna wind up back here anyway.~Homer Simpson",
    "I used to be \’with it,\’ but then they changed what \’it\’ was. Now what I\’m with isn\’t \’it,\’ and what\’s \’it\’ seems weird and scary to me. It\’ll happen to you.~Abraham Simpson",
    "It doesn\’t matter what you did wrong, though, as long as you\’re on TV, people will respect you.~Bart Simpson",
    "Bake him away, toys.~Chief Clancy Wiggum",
    "The whole reason we have elected officials is so we don\’t have to think all the time.~Homer Simpson",
    "Remember, son, the trick of advoiding jury duty is to say you\’re prejudiced against all races.~Homer Simpson",
    "Kids, let me tell you about another so-called \’wicked\’ guy. He had long hair and some wild ideas and he didn\’t always do what other people thought was right. And that man\’s name was... I forgot. But the point is... I forgot. Marge, you know who I\’m talking about. He used to drive that blue car.~Homer Simpson",
    "Operator. What\’s the number for 911?~Homer Simpson",
    "Oh my god, the dead have risen, and they\’re voting Republican!~Bart Simpson",
    "Ahh, sweet liquor eases the pain.~Troy McClure",
    "For once maybe someone will call me \’sir\’ without adding, \’you\’re making a scene.\’~Homer Simpson",
    "Well, it\’s 1 AM. Better go home and spend some time with the kids.~Homer Simpson",
    "I have misplaced my pants.~Homer Simpson",
    "But my mom says I\’m cool.~Milhouse VanHouten",
    "When she sees you\’ll do anything she says, she\’s bound to respect you.~Milhouse VanHouten",
    "Everything\’s coming up Milhouse!~Milhouse van Houten",
    "Oh boy, sleep! That\’s where I\’m a viking!~Ralph Wiggum",
    "It takes two to lie: one to lie and one to listen.~Homer Simpson"];
  var pick;
  var quote;
  var attrib;
  var episodeName; // Implement later
  var episodeID; // Implement later
  //getQuote();
  $("#next_button").on("click", function() {
    getQuote();
  });

  function getQuote() {
    pick = quotes[Math.floor( Math.random() * quotes.length)].split("~");
    
    $("#quote").text(pick[0]);
    $("#attrib").text("~ " + pick[1]);
    
  }
})