meow.js

// Various comment lengths retrieved from some random article
var comment_length = [
    1235,
    414,
    454,
    76,
    38,
    482,
    44,
    74,
    744,
    914,
    706,
    4,
    53,
    62,
    153,
    260,
    274,
    518,
    200,
    87,
    27,
    189,
    227,
    127,
    109,
    284,
    659,
    59,
    196,
    536,
    89,
    35,
    462,
    627,
    298,
    376,
    283,
    75,
    230,
    55,
    8,
    34,
    841,
    403,
    117,
    602,
    792,
    503,
    392,
    28,
    179,
    69,
    163,
    442,
    177,
    308,
    250,
    264,
    737,
    104,
    180,
    295,
    39,
    114,
    926,
    386,
    308,
    170,
    125,
    296,
    614,
    418,
    74,
    687,
    513,
    479,
    363,
    357,
    286,
    230,
    463,
    63,
    112,
    34,
    108,
    258,
    739,
    323,
    35,
    58,
    8,
    147,
    62,
    157,
    183,
    272,
    490,
    135,
    93,
    600,
    161,
    347,
    336,
    121,
    34,
    115,
    514,
    136,
    540,
    536,
    141,
    47,
    447,
    1035,
    262,
    280,
    657,
    680,
    244,
    382,
    137,
    136,
    171,
    158,
    540,
    207,
    143,
    109,
    593,
    109,
    44,
    124,
    164,
    209,
    231,
    274,
    143,
    145,
    328,
    95,
    93,
    98,
    194,
    132,
    74,
    371,
    310,
    387,
    94,
    20,
    2181,
    362,
    58,
    278,
    324,
    179,
    66,
    586,
    31,
    148,
    158,
    416,
    180,
    423,
    182,
    173,
    149,
    334,
    163,
    74,
    18,
    46,
    26,
    116,
    410,
    118,
    178,
    265
  ];

// Update comment
document.querySelectorAll("div.comment > span").forEach(comment => {
    var meow_count = Math.floor(comment_length[Math.floor(Math.random() * comment_length.length)] / 15);
    comment.textContent = "meow ".repeat(meow_count) + "meow";
});


// Hand made and hand picked from a bunch of stupid places online
var cat_names = ["gilberd",
"spots",
"Whiskers",
"felix",
"joeTheMeowster",
"RustCatgirl55",
"LouisAuguste",
"micromew",
"bill",
"xxXNamelessTheCatXxx",
"CuddleChampionship",
"FelineFocus34",
"PurrfectlyPosed",
"KittyKatShots",
"CatitudeCandids79",
"WhiskerWonderland",
"FelineFramed",
"CatSnaps",
"InstaCatspiration30",
"PurrfectlyFilteredFelines",
"MeowMeowGallery",
"CatitudeCaptured",
"FluffyFrames53",
"PawsomePurrfection",
"fox_hound",
"THE_COOL_KITTY",
"KopyKat",
"MeowMeowIAmNotCat",
"pussyNboots",
"catnadian69",
"Glowy100",
"Crescent41",
"Itchy97",
"Cookies54",
"Twizzle37",
"Poly45",
"Dinkey5",
"Ruckus64",
"Appa91",
"Fidget30",
"Pippen44",
"Smooch43",
"Ribbons77",
"Chaser16",
"Sluggo82",
"Banzai10",
"Maliboo5",
"Nuchie74",
"Keema10",
"Spidey67",
"Keyo92",
"Bingo53",
"Chibi30",
"Maska25"]

// Update usernames with cat usernames
document.querySelectorAll("a.hnuser").forEach(usernamelink => {;
    var cat_username = cat_names[Math.floor(Math.random() * cat_names.length)];
    usernamelink.textContent = cat_username;
    usernamelink.setAttribute("href", "user?id="+cat_username)
});