page0027.mm

<p>Page 27.</p>
<p>After Cassandra Cautery left my hospital room, I was placed on
suicide watch. I didn&rsquo;t realize this at first. I just thought
the nurses had become extremely conscientious about checking in on
me. But when I asked where my wheelchair was, a nurse said I was no
longer permitted to leave my room. &ldquo;For your own safety.&rdquo;
There was an aggressive glint to her eye, as if she had gone up
against plenty of smug, would-be self-harmers before me, and wasn&rsquo;t
about to let herself be bettered by me. No matter how cleverly I
attempted to damage myself, she would be there to take me down and
save me. It was an odd concept.</p>
<p>So that also explained where my underpants had gone. But that didn&rsquo;t
bother me. What bothered me was I wasn&rsquo;t allowed visitors. In
the afternoon, I heard Lola Banks outside, and sat up in bed,
excited, because it was the first time she&rsquo;d been back since
she kissed me. Then I realized she was walking away. The nurses were
explaining about my condition, saying <em>maybe tomorrow</em>. &ldquo;Lola!&rdquo;
I called. But it was too late; she was gone.</p>