Chrontendo Ep. 01 Transcript

Hello, everyone. 

Doctor Sparkle, here, and welcome to CRAW ON TEN DOE Episode ONE, the Revised Edition. 

"Now, what's this?", you say. "Revised Edition?" 

Well, yes. Back in TWO-THOUSAND-AND-SEVEN, when I did the very first episode of CRAW ON TEN DOE, I wasn't really satisfied with the results (especially concerning the sound) so I've gone ahead and basically re-recorded CRAW ON TEN DOE Episode ONE. 

It's basically just a newer improved version of that same original episode. 



For those of you just now tuning in, CRAW ON TEN DOE is an attempt to play every single game released for the Nintendo Entertainment System (or the FAMINE COM, as it was called in Japan) and we'll be playing all these (rather than just looking at them) in chronological order. 

This will hopefully allow us to learn something about one of the most beloved video game consoles of all time, as well as a bit about the history of Nintendo and, sort of, video game development in general.

But first, let's start off by taking a brief look at the history of Nintendo, themselves. 



Nintendo was actually founded, way back in EIGHTEEN-EIGHTY-NINE, in Kyoto. 

The original purpose of the company was to produce HAWN UH FOOD OOH EX, which is a sort of Japanese playing card. 

Over the years, they diversified a bit; they came out with western styles of playing cards and tried their hand at other things, like a taxi company and a chain of hotels. 

But, really, for the first half of the TWENTIEth century, Nintendo was primarily a card manufacturer. 

Probably the most significant person in the history of Nintendo was Hiroshi Yamauchi (the grandson of the original founder). 

When he took over the company in NINETEEN-FIFTY-SIX, that's really when Mint... Nintendo began to change its focus. 

One figure who was instrumental in this massive change was GOON PAY YO COY. 

He designed an enormously popular toy, called the Ultra Hand. 

After the success of the Ultra Hand, Nintendo sort of switched its focus, [and] wants to become a toy company. 

YO COY, himself, designed many of these early toys, including some very early versions of Nintendo light guns. 

Nintendo also moved on into electronics and, by the end of the SEVENTIES, had moved into the arcade video game field. 

As was standard practice, most o' their earlier arcade games were very derivative of other arcade hits, such as Space Invaders. 

Of course, all this changed, mostly due to a young man named Shigeru Miyamoto. 

Miyamoto would eventually become Nintendo's preeminent personality and game designer (and one of the most influential figures in the history of video gaming). 

His career took off when he was called in to design a video game that could be converted from unsold copies of a game called Radar Scope. 

Depending on whom you ask, Radar Scope was either an enormous hit in Japan that failed to sell any copies in the U.S., or was just an overall flop. 

Either way, Nintendo of America had a whole bunch of these things sitting in their warehouse and they requested a conversion kit, so these could [get] changed into a different new game. 

The resulting game, Donkey Kong, was released to arcades in NINETEEN-EIGHTY-ONE, and was a huge hit in both the U.S. and Japan. 

It was unlike any other game on the market and created the vogue for what we now call platform games. 

Nintendo followed up Donkey Kong with more arcade hits, like Donkey Kong JUNIOR and Popeye. 

Now, for a while, Nintendo had also been interested in getting into the home console market. 

They had released some Pong clones, under the name "T.V. Game", in the late SEVENTIES, and shortly thereafter, a series of handheld L.E.D. games, designed by GOON PAY YO COY, hit the market. 

YO COY would eventually design something called the Game Boy, but Game and Watch was the first entry for Nintendo into the world of portable gaming. 



Finally, in NINETEEN-EIGHTY-THREE, Nintendo ve... unveiled its cartridge-based console: the Family Computer (or the FAMINE COM, for short). 

A few years later, it would be released in the U.S. (in a re-designed form) as the Nintendo Entertainment System. 

The Japanese FAMINE COM has a rather eye-catching red and white color scheme as well as two controllers that are actually hard-wired into the console. 

Now, back in NINETEEN-EIGHTY-THREE, the FAMINE COM was [a] pretty sophisticated system. 

It featured an EIGHT-bit processor, TWO kilobytes of RAM, and could display SIXTEEN colors and SIXTY-FOUR SPUR RIGHTS on the screen at one time. 

The Japanese home video game market was pretty much untapped at this point, and the FAMINE COM was an instant success. 



Let's start back in the glorious year of NINETEEN-EIGHTY-THREE, on July FIFTEENth. 

The FAMINE COM debuted that day, with three games as launch titles. 

Like most new systems, releases for the FAMINE COM came pretty slowly at first. 

There were a total of nine games released in NINETEEN-EIGHTY-THREE. 

And a quick word about the FAMINE COM cartridges: The FAMINE COM games are a completely different size and shape than the U.S. Nintendo Entertainment System carts. 

As you can see, they're sort of short and squat and fit snugly into the FAMINE COM game boxes (which tend to sort of be longer than they are tall). 

Alright, well, let's get going. 



Here it is! 

The very first game for the Nintendo FAMINE COM: a port of their arcade game, Donkey Kong.

This was one of three launch titles for the system. 

Note the SORT UH weird music playing during the title screen, and this even has, SORT UH, like, an attract mode. 

If you don't touch anything, you'll start seeing a little demo of the game playing. 

It's almost like Nintendo thinks it's making an arcade game, somehow. 

Once ya' press a button, the actual game will start, and then you'll find you're playing an extremely accurate and convincing port of Donkey Kong. 

I'm going to assume that, perhaps the major selling point of the FAMINE COM, when it first came out was, "Hey! You can play games like Donkey Kong and Donkey Kong JUNIOR, at home and it's just like playing the arcade version." 

This certainly makes sense. 

If you think about it, two of the biggest selling titles for the Atari TWENTY-SIX-HUNDRED were ports of Space Invaders and Pac-Man. 

The original Donkey Kong, designed by Shigeru Miyamoto, hit arcades in NINETEEN-EIGHTY-ONE. 

Am I the only guy who's ever been bothered by the fact that Donkey Kong looks completely different, on the "How High Can You Get" screen? 

Well, doing a side by side comparison (here's the FAMINE COM version again) you'll see just how close this thing was. 

There were, [of] course, a few compromises. 

For example (I assume to save space) the little, sort of, introductory sequence with Donkey Kong climbing the building has been cut and an entire level (the so-called Pie Factory) has been removed, as well. 

But still, this must have astonished gamers when they first saw it. 

As a point of comparison, let's take a look at some of the earlier home versions of Donkey Kong. 

Here, for example, is the old [Atari], uh, TWENTY-SIX-HUNDRED (really not that old; it came out in NINETEEN-EIGHTY-TWO) but it's only a rough approximation of the actual Donkey Kong game. 

The CULL-LEE-CO-VISION Donkey Kong, by contrast, was [a] major selling point for the console. 

This was considered near-miraculous in its fidelity to the arcade game, even though, certainly, there are some differences (like the fact that [the] little barrels don't explode when you hit 'em with the, uh, hammer). 

I'm going to assume that everyone out there more or less knows how to play Donkey Kong. 

You control Mario (or JUMP MAN, as he was called in the original version). 

Ya' need to climb to the top of these various levels, avoiding things like barrels and, uh, other things Donkey Kong throws at you. 

Here's the final level, here. 

You gotta' remove all those rivets that are holding the platforms in place, which will cause Donkey Kong to fall on his head. 

In terms of historical importance, Donkey Kong was: the first platform game, the game that sort of brought Nintendo to America, [and] the game that introduced both Donkey Kong and Mario. 

Ya' might say that virtually all of Nintendo's later successes were, sort of, built on the foundation of Donkey Kong. 

So, this is a pretty auspicious start for the FAMINE COM! 



And, naturally, the second game to [be] released for the FAMINE COM (once again, a launch title) was Donkey Kong JUNIOR, the NINETEEN-EIGHTY-TWO sequel to the original Donkey Kong. 

As before, we have sort of that, sort of, generic-looking title screen and, like a little arcade-style demo mode. 

Donkey Kong was perhaps a bit harder [than] the first game (certainly had a bit more variety in the type of play). 

One thing to remember: this was actually a pretty new game; it hit arcades in NINETEEN-EIGHTY-TWO. 

Let's take a look at the original arcade version, here. 

Mario has captured Donkey Kong and is keeping him in a cage. 

The main question here is, "Who is the second Mario? Is that Luigi, dressed in red?" (always been [a] bit of a mystery). 

This game portrays Mario as a whip-wielding villain, sending all these weird little creatures after Donkey Kong JUNIOR 

Something else you may have wondered is, "What, exactly, is Donkey Kong JUNIOR wearing?". 

He's got some little, kind of, white outfit on. 

It's odd that a monkey would be wearing clothing. 

As I mentioned, Donkey Kong JUNIOR is kind of a tough game. 

Falling more than about one centimeter will kill you and there's various things that will fall on you or hit you. 

The GAME PLAY has been changed a bit, from the original Donkey Kong. 

There's still some running and jumping, but the game is also, sort of, based around the mechanics of climbing ropes or chains. 

All the climbing actually reminds me of the various vines and whatnot you would find in Super Mario games. 

Just like Donkey Kong, there were some cuts made to the home version. 

The little introductory sequences are not there. 

You don't get to see Mario, uh, pulling up Donkey Kong in the cage, while some Bach organ music plays. 

It's interesting to note that, while Donkey Kong JUNIOR was a pretty big arcade hit, Nintendo's future was a little shaky, at this point. 

They were currently in the middle of a lawsuit with Universal, over the use of "Donkey Kong".

Universal was claiming that this was based on King Kong which, supposedly, they had the copyright to. 

They sued Nintendo, gave them a cease and desist order, and this was not resolved until NINETEEN-EIGHTY-FOUR. 

(I think the appeals actually dragged on 'til NINETEEN-EIGHTY-SIX.) 

Nintendo won and got some damages from Universal. 

Okay, so going back to the game, here. 

We're about at the final level. 

This is it, here. 

It involves climbing chains and pushing keys up into the locks, there. 

This will free Donkey Kong and send Mario tumbling. 

After this, the levels will just repeat (just like in Donkey Kong). 

Ah! Evil Mario has been defeated. 

Hopefully this is the last we'll ever hear [of] that guy. 



And, the third and final launch title for the FAMINE COM was Popeye (yet another port of a NINETEEN-EIGHTY-TWO Nintendo arcade game - this one, perhaps not quite so successful as Donkey Kong or Donkey Kong JUNIOR, but I certainly remember seeing it quite a bit in the arcades, back in the day). 

All these games have very similar title screens. 

Nintendo sort of was aiming for, like, some kind of consistency across their releases, with the virtually identical title screens, the little music, very similar box art... 

Once again, the arcade game was designed by Shigeru Miyamoto. 

He originally wanted to make a, uh, Donkey Kong, based on Popeye, but couldn't get the rights. 

If you look at the intro here, you'll notice you'll see little things like, uh, word balloons, and a... a bit more of a little story being told [between] Popeye and BLUE DOUGH and OLIVE OIL. 

Unfortunately, the FAMINE COM version couldn't quite capture this. 

Popeye is definitely the best looking of the three arcade games that are on display, here, and the FAMINE COM wasn't quite able to capture this. 

As we can see, the visuals take a bit of a hit. 

This is not quite the accurate port that Donkey Kong (and Donkey Kong JUNIOR) was. 

The object, here, is to catch all the various objects that OLIVE OIL throws at ya', while avoiding BLUE DOUGH. 

There is a spinach that'll appear, once per level. 

If ya' grab that, you can then knock BLUE DOUGH out and send him crashing into the ocean. 

This'll buy you a few moments of extra time. 

Also, you can't let the objects fall into the ocean now and get wet; otherwise, you'll lose. 

Later levels get a bit more difficult (three levels altogether). 

One interesting little footnote: 

Popeye, along with Donkey Kong and a few other titles, were supposedly co-developed by a Japanese [electronics] company called EKE GAUM ME SUE SHEEN KEY. 

They apparently did some of the coding for this game and, when Nintendo proceeded to duplicate this code, E GAUM ME sued them. 

The lawsuit was not resolved until NINETEEN-EIGHTY-NINE. 

Well, with Popeye, that wraps up the launch [of] the FAMINE COM. 

Let's now fast forward to August NINETEEN-EIGHTY-THREE, for the first original titles for the system. 



Alright, Nintendo, so you just released ports of your three big arcade hits for your new console; what are you gonna' do next? 

Well, like video game publishers, everywhere, you release some versions of non-copyrighted board games. 

In this case, it's GO MOE COO NAH RAW BEE WREN JEW. 

GO MOE COO is actually a pretty simple little game that's actually played on a Go board, using Go pieces, but it's much simpler than the game, Go. 

The object, here, is that black and white take turns putting down pieces and you're gonna'... gonna' try to get five pieces in a row. 

The rules are that black goes first. 

Now, there is sort of a catch. 

It turns out that, if black goes first they can always win. 

Therefore, this is actually a variation of GO MOE COO, called WREN JEW. 

This is GO MOE COO, with a few extra rules and restrictions in place, that prevent whoever goes first from always winning. 

GO MOE COO (just like Go) is an old Chinese game, but the name "GO MOE COO" is Japanese. 

It means something like "Five Pieces Line Up". 

If you're a kid that grew up in the U.S., you'll probably think this game looks a lot like Connect Four. 

There's a few different options on this cart. 

You can play against the computer or you can play against another person. 

I'm PLAY IN against the computer, here. 

And, you know, it turns out I'm actually not a very good GO MOE COO player. 

It's funny; I would always beat my cousin at Connect Four ([I] guess the computer's a bit smarter than my cousin). 

The game does give you little hints, like when the computer's about to get five in a row their pieces will start flashing. 

Now, the first three games we saw were all released in the U.S, for the Nintendo Entertainment System, in NINETEEN-EIGHTY-FIVE, but GO MOE COO NAH RAW BEE is the first Japan-only title for the FAMINE COM. 

Obviously, when Nintendo of America was picking out potential releases for U.S. release, they decided to pass this one over. 

This is something we'll see a lot of in CRAW ON TEN DOE. 

Certain games will have, SORT UH, like, a universal appeal, like Donkey Kong, and certain games, Nintendo decides simply only the Japanese would be interested in playing. 

Of course game fans and publishers often disagree, as to what games they would like to play, leading to a lot [of] frustration in the United States and Europe, over all the great games released in Japan, but not over here. 

With this one, though, I don't really think that we're missing that much. 

Sure, this is a fun little game to play, but nothing too spectacular. 



Released the same day as GO MOE COO NAH RAW BEE, is MA JONG! 

Now, if you're like most westerners, you've probably never actually played the game of MA JONG. 

You may have played that game that comes on Windows computers, but that's not the actual game of MA JONG. 

That's just sort of a matching game that, uh, uses the MA JONG tiles. 

It's been released under various names over the years, such as Shanghai or Solitaire MA JONG. 

MA JONG is sort of like a card game, only instead of being played with cards, it's played with small painted tiles. 

There are several [SUITES]. 

For example, here, you see I have quite a few of the, uh, bamboo [SUITE]. 

Other [SUITES] have a series of dots on them or Chinese characters. 

Now, this is not the first MA JONG video game; MA JONG games were among the very first video games made in Japan. 

For example, here's Royal MA JONG, from KNEE CHI BOOT SUE, originally released back in NINETEEN-EIGHTY-ONE. 

In real life, MA JONG is normally played with four people. 

Though, since the advent of computer games, a certain, sort of, special variation on MA JONG has emerged, in which you play one-on-one head-to-head with the computer. 

Now, the odds are that you probably don't play MA JONG and I certainly don't play MA JONG (seems like here in the United States, the only folks who play it are little old Jewish ladies) so I can't really tell you too much about whether this is a good version of the game or not. 

I suppose it looks decent. 

But, in Asia, MA JONG video games are enormously popular, so it's not too surprising that one of the very first games Nintendo released for the FAMINE COM was, in fact, a MA JONG game. 

It certainly paid off for Nintendo. 

This was one of the biggest selling titles, over the entire system's lifespan. 

And, I should point out that, over the course of CRAW ON TEN DOE, we'll be seeing many many more MA JONG games. 



And, hot on the heels of MA JONG comes Mario BROTHERS 

No, no; not that game - the original Mario BROTHERS 

This game is notable for a lot o' reasons. 

It's the first game where Mario SORT UH steps out of the shadows of Donkey Kong (also notable for being the first game where Luigi is introduced). 

A few recurring themes in the Mario series sort of make their debut, here. 

Once again, Mario BROTHERS is a port... but it's actually a port of a pretty recent title! 

The arcade Mario BROTHERS came out in NINETEEN-EIGHTY-THREE (same year as this FAMINE COM version). 

The FAMINE COM couldn't quite, apparently, replicate that rather fancy little title screen there. 

Much like the Donkey Kong games and Popeye, Mario BROTHERS is a pretty good looking port. 

Obviously the colors are a bit more brighter, in the arcade version, there's a bit more detail, but, uh, compared to what we've been seeing, well... 

Here, for example, is the Atari TWENTY-SIX-HUNDRED port of Mario BROTHERS 

This came out in NINETEEN-EIGHTY-THREE as well. 

And, while this is clearly Mario BROTHERS, it's certainly been compromised quite a bit. 

So what's goin' on here? 

Well, back in Donkey Kong, Mario was apparently a carpenter. 

Now he's gotten a new job as a plumber and there's some sort of major plumbing emergency going on, with all kinds of turtles and crabs and fireballs coming out of the pipes. 

Mario's job? 

Well, rather than to fix the plumbing, better kill all the animals that're COME IN' out. 

Oh, here's a bonus level here where the object [is] to collect coins (the coins being one of the things that sort of debuted in this game, along with Luigi, as seen here, and, of course, the COOP BUZZ, which in this game are actually called "shell CREEP PURSE"). 

Mario BROTHERS is a collaboration between Shigeru Miyamoto and GOON PAY YO COY. 

Apparently YO COY came up [with] some [of] the basic design ideas like, uh, having multiple levels, here (and, of course, Mario not dying if he falls off one of the platforms). 

Of course, in comparison to the later Mario games, the jumping mechanics are actually quite primitive. 

Once in mid air, you cannot control your jump at all. 

Well, Mario BROTHERS was the last of Nintendo's big arcade hits that were ported to the system, which raises the obvious question, "What were they gonna' do next?". 



Okay, let's set the stage, here. 

It's late November NINETEEN-EIGHTY-THREE, there hasn't been a new game released for the FAMINE COM in two and a half months, Nintendo has already ported all its big arcade hits to the system... 

What are they gonna' do now? 

Start porting stuff like Radar Scope? 

They can't exactly ask Miyamoto to crank out a new game every two weeks, but, still, they have to have something on this new console, don't they? 

Well, the solution is obvious! 

Just rip some of the SPUR RIGHTS from one of their existing titles and make [a] brand new game. 

Because, of course, this is a Family Computer (it's supposed to be good for kids, not turn their brains into mush) it's gonna' be an educational game, this time starring Popeye. 

So, as a result, we get Popeye no AY GO UH SO BEE. 

And, of course, if you don't remember this game from when you were a young person, that's because it was only released in Japan. 

It's a game that's supposed to teach Japanese kids English alphabet and words. 

You start by choosing a category and then a word will come up. 

Then Popeye runs around and selects the correct letters (shows you the word in Japanese and you have to translate it into English). 

Every time he gets a letter wrong, BLUE DOUGH will punch the punching bag and knock SWEET PEA a little bit closer to the, uh, edge, there. 

I love the, uh, charming little skulls that appear, whenever you choose the wrong letter. 

Nowadays, I think that the suggestion of harming an infant in such a fashion might be considered a bit taboo for games, but, uh, 

Let's [see] what actually happens. 

Will SWEET PEA actually drown? 

Oh! Thank goodness! Saved... just in time. 

There's a few different GAME PLAY variations, here. 

Other than the one we just saw, this next one, here, doesn't actually show you the word in Japanese - only has the English words, so it might be a bit difficult to guess what the word is gonna' be. 

You're gonna' have [to] pick a few random letters first and hope you get lucky. 

And the last GAME PLAY variation is one for two players only. 

You and BLUE DOUGH compete to catch letters that OLIVE OIL is throwing. 

This one is set in the, uh, Sea Hags level. 

Well, I guess we do learn something from this. 

Even in Japan, educational games are really not a whole lot of fun. 



We enter the all-important month of December with "Baseball". 

This would be the sp... first sports game from Nintendo. 

Make a note of that music, because we'll be hearing the exact same music in the game, "Tennis". 

Now, as we start the game, here, notice that it actually allows you to choose your team, represented by those little letters, there. 

We'll discuss that in more detail, in just a moment. 

Now, it's a long-standing video game tradition that, when game makers come out with a new console, usually one of the very first things they do is put out some sports games on it. 

And that's exactly what Nintendo is doing; we're gonna' be covering Baseball, Tennis, and Golf, this episode. 

If ya' think about it, this makes sense. 

I mean, Nintendo didn't wanna' invest too many resources into creating brand new games, so they just SORT UH stuck with some of the standard formulas, while they waited to see how the whole thing kinda' worked out. 

Baseball video games have been around for quite some time, going back to the very earliest days of home consoles. 

There've also been some baseball arcade games. 

Let's take a look at some, now. 

Here, for example, is Double Play, from M... Midway, from NINETEEN-SEVENTY-SEVEN. 

A lot of early baseball games tended to look kinda' like this. 

Major advances in sports games were made with the release of the INTEL UH VISION, which was known for its reasonably realistic sports games. 

Here is All Star Major League Baseball

This was CUN KID GIRD... considered to be pretty... pretty hot, stuff back in the day. 

This is, I suppose, a somewhat reasonable, you know, facsimile of how baseball's actually played. 

Now, let's take a look at something for the CLIQUE-OH-VISION: Super Action Baseball, from NINETEEN-EIGHTY-THREE. 

The CULL-LEE CO-VISION was the most graphically advanced home console, at the time, though in this case the game suffers from a pretty ugly color scheme and horrible little, uh, animations of the characters running around. 

And then, suddenly, one year later we jump to this. 

Wow. What a difference! 

Look at the players! 

They have, like, uniforms on and everything! 

And, relatively realistic animations. 

And, furthermore, the game even has two different camera angles! 

When you're batting or pitching, the camera is sort of zoomed in, right on the diamond; when ya' hit a ball, then, like, suddenly it goes back out and you can see the entire outfield. 

You can see a scoreboard in the background, you can see people in the audience; it's very nice! 

Now, like a lot of early baseball games, the controls on this are pretty simple. 

You mostly just control the pitcher and the batter. 

You use the button to either swing the bat or throw the pitch. 

The D-Pad 'll let you move your bat around a bit or give you a certain amount of control over the kind of pitch (you know, fast ball, to the left, to the right). 

You have a very limited control over the players in the outfield. 

Once they have the ball, use the D-Pad to control the throw. 

For example, pressing Up will throw to second base, pressing Right will throw to first base, and so on. 

Now of course, back then, if you take a look at this game, like, nowhere in the game or on the box are there any sorts of names of baseball players or any of the sports teams or... or anything that would have to be licensed. 

This game is in no way affiliated with any sort of, like, Major League Baseball team or product, but it still does (in sort of a sly way) refer to actual teams. 

Like, for example, it shows you the first letter of each team's names. 

Now, here, for example, "D" is presumably the Dodgers, based on their uniform color scheme. 

So, even though the game doesn't actually mention the Dodgers, you can still SORT UH feel like you're playing them. 

But, still, I don't believe there's any sort of, like, differences between the teams, in terms of stats or anything [like] that. 

The only real differences are simply the colors of the uniforms. 

Well, I'd say Baseball's, all in all, a pretty good game, and for Nintendo's first sports game, it is, uh, pretty impressive. 



For our final game of NINETEEN-EIGHTY-THREE, we have one that you probably hated, if your parents got it for ya', back then. 

It's "Donkey Kong JUNIOR no SAWN SUE UH SO BEE" or, as we call it in the U.S., "Donkey Kong JUNIOR Math". 

And, yup, just like that Popeye game, this is an educational game. 

And it was undoubtedly a quickie game that, uh, was made simply so they could re-use some of the SPUR RIGHTS from Donkey Kong JUNIOR 

Well, so anyway, if you don't recall this game, this is how it works: 

It displays a number, up at the top of the screen, and you're supposed to jump around and collect the numbers... the mathematical symbols, in order to get everything to add up to that particular number. 

For example, here we're supposed to get SEVENTY-SEVEN. 

We already have nine, so we're gonna' grab the times symbol, and then grab EIGHT. 

That'll take us up to SEVENTY-TWO. 

Then, all we have [to] do after that is to find FIVE and add that. 

Now, this is a TWO player game only, so the pink Donkey Kong (I assume that's Donkey Kong JUNIOR's sister) should also be trying [to] do the exact same thing at the same time. 

There's a second option on the title screen. 

That's simply the exact same game, except the numbers involved are larger. 

And there's one last final option as well. 

Either way, this is probably not a game you really would have enjoyed playing, you know, back in, uh, NINETEEN-EIGHTY-FIVE, when it came out in the United States, and it's probably not a game that you'd really enjoy playing now. 

Presumably Nintendo created these games, so they could (like I said earlier) re-use some existing SPUR RIGHTS and to make a game that was, in theory, "educational", but they pretty much dropped the whole educational game, uh, thing almost immediately. 

From this point forward, generally speaking, educational games would be left to other publishers. 



By the time NINETEEN-EIGHTY-FOUR opened, it was pretty clear the FAMINE COM was gonna' be a success in Japan. 

Despite that, this st... year still started kinda' slowly for releases. 

In fact, only six games were released in the first half of NINETEEN-EIGHTY-FOUR (as compared to nine games for the previous six months). 

In fact, we really won't see the pace of new FAMINE COM games pick up until pretty late in NINETEEN-EIGHTY-FOUR. 



Alright! So let's get January NINETEEN-EIGHTY-FOUR rolling with "Tennis"! 

This was, in fact, the only game released in January. 

Now, one thing you may have noticed here, is Nintendo's SORT UH TRY IN' to go for, like, a house style, with their title screens. 

They all look pretty much the same. 

They've all got a very simple logo, couple different play options, the "Copyright Nintendo" against a black background, usually a short little musical tune [will] be playing... 

Eventually they would get a bit more creative, but for the time being, this is sort of, like, the look that they were going for. 

Also, the FAMINE COM box art had a very similar feel to it, as well. 

All the box art kind of looked the same. 

So, anyway, here we have "Tennis" (which is, obviously, based on the real life game of tennis). 

Now, I've gotta' confess; I usually don't really like video games based around tennis. 

I guess part of the problem is that, you know, you ha... to... you have to sort of depict a THREE D reality (a ball moving towards you) you know, in a two dimensional video game, which is really not that easy, especially back at this time, but here Nintendo does manage to do a pretty admirable job. 

They've depicted the tennis court from [a] top down perspective, but it's sort of slightly angled. 

There's a bit of perspective in the court. 

For the tennis ball, they actually use several different SPUR RIGHTS, so it gets bigger, as it comes towards you, and as it recedes it just becomes a tiny dot. 

There's also a shadow on the ball, which gives you some assistance interpreting how high off the ground the ball is and the shadow also gets smaller and larger. 

So, from a strictly technical perspective, the game is pretty impressive in the way it tries to depict a ball moving back and forth in space. 

Now, something else interesting, here. 

The referee looks a lot like Mario! 

(Well, he's this little short guy with a mustache.) 

He's not dressed like Mario, but this does appear to be Mario's first, kind of, cameo appearance in a sports game. 

Nintendo would later go on to put him in all their golf games. 

So, it appears, even at this early stage, Mario was essentially the Nintendo mascot. 

The game plays pretty simply. 

Move your, uh, figure back and forth, using the D-Pad; use the button to swing. 

If you hit the button, like, hard or s... or softly, that'll, sort of, control the strength of the... of the swing, just a bit. 

The title screen allows you to select the difficulty option. 

Back then, video games had a whole lot [of] difficulty options. 

I mean, they still do nowadays, but [in] the days of the TWENTY-SIX-HUNDRED, for example, there were always, like, fifty different options on every video game. 

So, while Tennis isn't exactly fantastic, it's, uh, still plays pretty good, and I'd say it's a lot better than some of the other third party tennis games [that] would eventually come out for the system. 



Alright, so you've done some basic board games, you've got a few sports games on the system, so what's next? 

Well, something a lot of video game developers would do would be to create a pinball game. 

At this time (the early EIGHTIES) pinball was still quite popular in the arcades. 

A lot o' decent-sized video arcades would have some pinball tables in there, as well (and, of course, they had been [in] arcades much longer than video games). 

Thus, we have Nintendo's "Pinball".

Now, something that's a little cool and different, here, is that this game ha... actually has two screens. 

There's sort of, like, a top half and a bottom half. 

When the ball drops down below, it goes into the lower screen, and if you shoot back up, it goes back [to the] top screen. 

This allowed Nintendo to, sort of, create a bigger pinball table. 

Now, how does the thing control? 

Well, it's sort of a unique setup. 

With your right hand, you can hit either of the two buttons; this will control the right flipper. 

With your left hand, you control the D-Pad (doesn't matter which direction you push it in); this will do the left flipper. 

So, this gives the game somewhat of a feel, like a r... p... real pinball machine. 

Now, if you saw the American cover, there, a moment ago, you might [be] wondering, "Why is Mario on the cover? What's he have to do [with] this game?". 

Well, he actually does have another cameo, just like Tennis, though this one's a bit more hidden. 

I guess this might be one of the first examples [of], like, a hidden mini-game, inside a larger game. 

Of course, it's really not that well hidden. 

In fact, if you play this for a little while, you'll eventually come [across] it, mostly by accident. 

On the bottom screen, kind of near the upper right hand corner, there's, like, a little hole that you can shoot your ball into. 

If you get lucky and get your ball there you actually go into this little mini-game which is, kind of, sort of, like Breakout. 

What it is is Mario will be holding a platform on his head. 

You can move him back and forth, uh, try to bounce the ball off the platform, and free Pauline from the prison above. 

Now, this was a bit before Princess Peach entered the picture, so, Pauline is still Mario's main love interest. 

So, anyway, I guess that Pinball's probably a pretty minor early FAMINE COM title. 

[It] certainly wasn't bad. 

On the other hand, like... 

In NINETEEN-EIGHTY-THREE, E.A. had released Pinball Construction Set, which is a game that's a lot more fondly remembered. 

And, later on, you'd see stuff, like, for the TURBO GRAPHICS SIXTEEN (like Alien Crush) which were much more interesting games. 

Still, Nintendo hasn't exactly made a whole lot of Pinball video games, so I suppose that, in a way, this is sort of a unique title. 



The other game to be released in February of NINETEEN-EIGHTY-FOUR is Wild Gunman. 

Now, Wild Gunman is interesting for a few different reasons. 

First of all, this is not exactly a port of an early arcade game, nor is it based on a board game or a sport, so I suppose it's one of the earlier original titles for the FAMINE COM. 

But also, check this out: 

"Hiyah!"

Yeah, there's an honest to God speech sample in this (almost unheard of, at the time). 

There were a few games for the INTEL UH VISION that used its special speech THIN SIZER, but it was still pretty rare. 

Now, as I mentioned, Wild Gunman was more or less an original title, but it was based on a much earlier (sort of, not video game, but arcade) game, called Wild Gunman, that re... Nintendo released, back in NINETEEN-SEVENTY-FOUR. 

This had an actual SIXTEEN millimeter f... uh... film that played, and then you shot at it, though the basic idea is the same as the FAMINE COM game. 

And, of course, if you've seen Back to [the] Future: Part TWO, you will see a special, uh, Wild Gunman free standing arcade cabinet, that was never actually produced for real arcades. 

Apparently it was made just for the movie, for some reason. 

But, perhaps most interesting of all was the fact that you control this game, by using a light gun. 

Yes, this game was the debut of the Nintendo light gun. 

Now, take a look at what the original Japanese FAMINE COM light gun looks like. 

I mean, wow, it looks just like a real gun! 

It looks like a Colt or something (really, nothing at all like that crazy, uh, orange ZAP PER that came with the Nintendo Entertainment System). 

I guess, uh, in the United States, at that time, you really couldn't get away with making your toy guns look like real guns. 

So, how does the game actually play? 

Well, very simply, each round one of these bad guys marches out and ya' have to shoot him! 

Well, don't worry, [you] don't actually kill them. 

You know, you always just, like, shoot [at] their hat off or their pants off or something like that. 

Now it is possible to shoot too fast. 

If you shoot before the, uh, guy is ready, you'll get a foul and you'll lose the round. 

Likewise, if you get shot, you lose the round as well. 

And there's also a harder difficulty setting, in which they come out two at a time. 

And finally, difficulty option C is the gang setting. 

That's where you're not out in the desert; you're actually in a town, in front of a saloon, and the bad guys will, sort of, open up the various windows and doors and shoot at you. 

This particular kind of layout would, sort of, be the standard for most light gun games. 

[It] usually involves quick reflexes and having to shoot [an] enemy as soon as he appears on the screen. 

So, Wild Gunman isn't exactly the most interesting or exciting light gun game. 

It is the first one on the system, and, I mean, back then, of course (well, Nintendo had been developing light gun toys and whatnot, for quite some time, as well as light gun arcade games, but) a light gun home console game was pretty much unheard of, at this time. 

The light gun would go on to become quite popular in the U.S. but not so much with this game, but rather with the next game we're going to see. 



As ya' may have noticed there, a second ago, Duck Hunt came out on April TWENTY-FIRST. 

That's over two months after Wild Gunman. 

Why the big d... long delay between games? 

Well, I don't really know, but it couldn't have been because they were putting a whole lot o' time into this game. 

Duck Hunt is probably, about the simplest game Nintendo ever released, though I mean, I may [as] well admit, [it] does look pretty nice. 

I'd say the most memorable thing about this game is probably the way that dog sticks its head up and laughs at you, every time you miss a duck. 

And, of course, it has that sort of catchy (but incredibly short) piece of music that plays. 

Out of all the games Nintendo developed, this must be the one with the least amount of music written for it. 

Now, if you had a N.E.S., back in the day, you probably remember this game. 

In fact, when it was first released in the United States, this game was a pack in title, in the version of the Nintendo that came with the ZAP PER. 

I'm sure a lot o' people never bought another ZAP PER game, so this is the one they probably think of, when they think of the light gun games. 

I suppose there is a certain sort of genius in its simplicity. 

Really, all that happens in this game is two ducks fly up and [you] try to shoot 'em. 

If you miss, the dog 'll laugh at you! 

Now, there is a slightly more challenging mode in this (the one that probably most [of] you guys didn't play); it's the, uh, clay pidgin shooting. 

It's a bit more difficult, but the screen is also incredibly dull and boring looking. 

I mean, for such a classic title, I really don't think Nintendo put a whole lot o' time into this! 

Now, at some point, someone at Nintendo realized that what players really wanna do is to shoot the darn dog, so, when this came out in the arcade version (it was, like, one of those, uh, Play Choice TEN titles) you actually could shoot the dog, though, of course, he would get upset if you did. 

Okay, and we do actually have one more light gun game coming up, in just a few minutes. 



The only game to be released in May of NINETEEN-EIGHTY-FOUR: it's Nintendo's "Golf" (the third title in Nintendo's sports series). 

One thing you might notice, here, is that Golf is entirely devoid of any sort of music, whatsoever. 

[I] mean, there's some sound effects, but there's no music during the title screen or during the game itself. 

This might be considered evidence that Nintendo were stretching themselves a bit thin, when it comes to getting out all these games. 

Well, anyway, Nintendo's "Golf" introduces a control scheme that would become pretty much standard for golf games, on the system. 

You use the D-Pad to select which golf club you wanna' use, and you use the Left and Right on the D-Pad to control, sort of, the general direction of your swing. 

Golf also uses a very interesting mechanic to actually control your swing. 

You press the button once to move your club back. 

Once you've got it back far enough, press it again to move forward, and then press it a third time, right when the arrow reaches those... little group of white lines, on the meter below you. 

The second button press will control the power of the swing. 

The further you let... you let it go back, the stronger your swing will be. 

Press[ing] the button again, when the little arrow's right in that little group of white boxes, there, will make your swing more accurate. 

If you press it too early or too late, you will either hook or slice the ball. 

But this rather unique control scheme makes Golf a little revolutionary. 

[Of] course there had been golf games... golf video games before this. 

For example, there were some games on the TWENTY-SIX-HUNDRED and there were some arcade golf games, as well. 

But this mechanism you use to hit the ball is actually quite new. 

Some of the older arcade games used a trackball. 

That is, you hit the ball, and then you'd move the trackball as fast [as] you could, in order to get the golf ball to move. 

And, of course, there are lots of nice little realistic touches, like you can tell which direction the wind is blowing. 

There are water traps, sand traps, all that sort of thing. 

Now, in comparison to using the regular golf clubs, putting is a little bit different. 

As you see, there's no white boxes. 

You can't really, sort of, cause your ball to go astray, using putting, uh, but you can hit it not hard enough or too hard and it'll go right past the hole. 

And also the greens tend to, sort of, have a, like, a little bit of a slant to them. 

The arrows on the green will show you which direction the green is sort of graded. 

So, when [you] hit your ball, it won't necessarily go completely straight; it can go downhill a bit and miss the hole. 

And, of course, as you may have figured out, I guess this guy is supposed to be Mario (probably looking as unlike Mario as he ever has). 

Also [very] clearly depicted here as being sort of a chubby fellow. 

On the Japanese box art, you don't see his face and he doesn't look like Mario, whatsoever. 

On the U.S. box art, he was clearly drawn as being Mario. 

I guess it is a little weird to see Mario, dressed up in civilian clothing. 

In Japan, this game was quite successful. 

It sold, I think several million copies (one of the better selling games [of] the system, as far as I'm aware). 

It certainly influenced enough other golf games (most of the subsequent games on the FAMINE COM really seemed, kinda' like a slight variation on this one). 

Nintendo, themselves, would go on to release numerous golf games, all of which were very similar to this. 

By today's standards, the game is a little on the simple side, but it still plays pretty well. 



From June NINETEEN-EIGHTY-FOUR, it's our last game this episode, Hogan's Alley (the game that's so complicated it actually requires a individual, sort of, training screen that shows ya' what targets to hit and what targets not to hit). 

Hogan's Alley is, once again, a light gun game. 

The object here is to, well, basically shoot the bad guys. 

This is sort of like a training simulator, here, for cops or something like that. 

These little, uh, cardboard figures slide out and you want to shoot the ones that look villainous, and, uh, not shoot the ones that look like friendly old men or little ladies or cops. 

[If] you'll look down at the bottom, there, you'll notice there's a, uh, a miss counter. 

You can only miss so many times. 

That means hitting the wrong target or not hitting the right target. 

Think you can get about ten misses and then the game ends. 

So, ya' might be wondering, "What exactly does the name 'Hogan's Alley' mean?".

Well, a Hogan's Alley is sort of a general term for these firearms training places, here. 

There actually was an original Hogan's Alley. 

[I] believe it was designed by the U.S. military. 

You'd go in there and, suddenly, uh, various, like, cutouts of people would pop up and you'd have to shoot the right ones. 

I guess this was to train your reflexes and judgement, when it comes to handling a firearm. 

You've probably seen things like this (maybe on T.V. or movies) where someone has to, you know, train (become an F.B.I. agent or a cop or something like that).

I believe that the F.B.I. had a Hogan's Alley in place, about the same time this game came out. 

The police officer, here, is sort [of] interesting. 

He's smiling. 

On the other hand, he's also, sort of, holding his billy club and putting it [in] the palm [of] his hand, almost like he's kinda' thinkin' he wants to, like, smack ya' on the head with it. 

He does seem just a bit menacing. 

Okay. So, then there's the Hogan's Alley B option. 

Here, instead of a standard shooting range, you're actually in some sort of m... alley MOCK UP, and the little, ah, figures appear in the windows and doorways and try to shoot at you. 

It's actually an awful lot like one [of] the options in Wild Gunman. 

Even at this stage, Nintendo is not above re-using the same ideas, and this is probably a bit more interesting than the first option. 

There's a bit more variety. 

You have, you know, actual backgrounds in it. 

One thing [I've] always wondered: That one gangster - is he dressed up, wearing a tuxedo?

It was nice of him to put on such a formal get up, for this occasion. 

Now, one other thing that is quite n... notable, here, is that, you know, as the scene switches, you'll see what appears [to] be the earliest instance of sideways SCROLL LING in a FAMINE COM game. 

One thing about the FAMINE COM: It was designed so [that it] was very efficient at sideways SCROLL LING - something that some of the other machines available at the time, like the M.S.X. computers, really could not do. 

When you think of the system, you tend to think of all those, like, uh, SCROLL LING, uh, games like Super Mario BROTHERS 

It's a little unusual that the FAMINE COM has been out in the market for a year, and this is the first game that we've seen that actually utilizes SCROLL LING. 

Well, there's one final variation, here, and it's called trick shot. 

This is where ya' shoot at cans and try to keep 'em, sort of, you know, up in the air and get 'em to land on a platform. 

You'll then get some points, depending on which platform you land 'em on. 

And, why does the music from this sound like something from an old Small Faces song? 

Maybe it's just a coincidence. 



Okay, so that wraps up the last game, this episode. 

So, what did we learn, here? 

Well, while none of these games are exactly bad (I mean, they're all reasonably well made) none of 'em [are] really... that exciting. 

I mean, I think probably the game that most folks would remember would probably be Duck Hunt.

Nothing wrong with Duck Hunt; it's just a very simplistic game. 

It was something that was kind of, like, you know, good to pull out at, you know, parties or some'm or for a [bit] of fun, but it's not really a game that I think people would normally put on a list of all time favorite games, or anything like that. 

Of course, you know, a few of these games, such as Golf and MA JONG, ended up being very successful, [at] least in Japan. 

But, for most of us, I think we'd still, sort of, think of the FAMINE COM as being in, sort of, like, [an] experimental stage, at this point (hasn't really found its groove, yet). 

Ya' might say the really interesting things didn't start to happen until NINETEEN-EIGHTY-FIVE. 



And, there ya' have it! 

CRAW ON TEN DOE Episode ONE, Revised Edition! 

Hopefully it turned out a bit better than the original Episode ONE, and maybe someday I'll get around to re-recording Episodes TWO and THREE as well! 

In the mean time, keep an eye out for actual brand new episodes of CRAW ON TEN DOE.