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index.html
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<html lang="en">
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0">
<meta http-equiv="X-UA-Compatible" content="ie=edge">
<title>Git Wise</title>
</head>
<body>
<button onclick="educateMe()">Educate me.</button>
<p id="phrase"></p>
<script>
var maybe = (probability, phrase) =>
(Math.random() < probability) ? phrase : ''
var gitWise = (prefix, verb, noun, preposition, object) =>
[ maybe(0.10, 'Quote unquote:'), prefix, verb, noun, preposition, object ].join(' ') + '.'
var tryBeingAngry = (noun) =>
(Math.floor(Math.random() * 5) + 1) === 1
? 'damn ' + noun
: noun
var data = {
prefixes: [
'Always',
'Don\'t',
'You can\'t',
'Never',
'You can never',
'You better',
'Let\'s not',
'We shouldn\'t',
'Let\'s',
'You',
'Please don\'t',
'Carefully'
],
verbs: [
'shoot',
'play',
'pull',
'whack',
'boil',
'beat',
'bury',
'jump',
'cross',
'rub',
'drown',
'eat',
'wash',
'chase',
'burn',
'take',
'throw out',
'hit',
'incinerate',
'drink',
'slap',
'smack',
'run',
'drown',
'send',
'kick',
'punch',
'follow',
'baste',
'squeeze',
'compliment',
'chop'
],
nouns: [
...[ 'ourselves', 'yourself', 'ghostbusters' ],
// Nouns needing 'the ' prefix
...[
'messenger',
'pony',
'thread',
'sweater',
'mole',
'trash',
'horse',
'forest',
'barn',
'robot',
'cactus',
'baby',
'dog',
'potion',
'shower',
'ocean',
'car',
'cat',
'bathwater',
'hotdog',
'garbage',
'watermelon',
'furnace',
'cart',
'sink',
'kitchen',
'cooks',
'beaver',
'child',
'wheels',
'turkey',
'streams',
'turnip',
'blood',
'rock',
'butt',
'onion'
].map(noun => 'the ' + tryBeingAngry(noun))
],
prepositions: [
'if it came out of',
'if it\'s still in',
'if you can\'t be',
'if it ain\'t with',
'out of',
'that builds',
'around',
'without',
'inside',
'above',
'with',
'under',
'in front of',
'before',
'after',
'behind'
],
}
var pickOne = (list) => list[parseInt(Math.random() * list.length)]
var educateMe = () => {
document.getElementById('phrase').innerHTML = gitWise(
pickOne(data.prefixes),
pickOne(data.verbs),
pickOne(data.nouns),
pickOne(data.prepositions),
pickOne(data.nouns)
)
}
</script>
</body>
</html>