Update withholds.md

.config/mkdocs.yml

@@ -104,7 +104,6 @@ nav:
           - common-practices-tools/software-and-support/zoom.md
       - common-practices-tools/telephone.md
       - common-practices-tools/difficult-conversation.md
-      - common-practices-tools/withholds.md
   - Practice areas:
       - practice-areas/README.md
       - Accessibility:

common-practices-tools/difficult-conversation.md

@@ -66,7 +66,7 @@ These conversations often require more than one discussion. It is important to c
 
 If you both think it would be helpful, consider inviting a neutral third party to mediate. This can include someone from PeopleOps, a manager, or a trusted colleague who is comfortable facilitating the discussion.
 
-Review the [Withholds Exercise / Process](withholds.md) and see if you would prefer that approach and follow that process instead of the approach above. Note that is very different from the above approaches.
+Review the [Withholds Exercise / Process](https://docs.google.com/document/d/16qeSombr856Dq97rTnehHW19nNQJng6_idyBaBRm10Y/edit?tab=t.0#heading=h.gjdgxs) and see if you would prefer that approach and follow that process instead of the approach above. Note that is very different from the above approaches.
 
 For giving and receiving feedback review [conflict resolution and growth mindset](../practice-areas/project-management/growth-mindset.md).
 

common-practices-tools/withholds.md

@@ -1,23 +0,0 @@
----
-title: Withholds Exercise / Process
----
-
-The point of using this withhold process is to strengthen relationships by unblocking stuck energy between people. The stuck energy, a withhold, is the result of things that have gone unsaid (that have meaning and importance). Releasing this energy helps to maintain clean energy in relationships.
-
-## The Process
-
-1.  The person who wants to share a withhold (the speaker) says to the other person (the listener), "I have a withhold", then asks, "Would you like to hear it?".
-2.  In response, the listener can respond with either "Yes" or "No":
-    1.  A **YES** response signifies that the listener believes he/she/they is able to provide an open space for listening and to allow the speaker to fully release the stuck energy between them in sharing the withhold.
-    2.  A **NO** response signifies that the listener isn't ready, isn't in the right space or doesn't have the proper time available to be able to receive the withhold.
-3.  If the listener responds with a YES, the speaker then shares his/her/they withhold according to the following process:
-    1.  Cite a **specific** example (no generalities, no always, no never) that sparked the withhold.
-    2.  **State the facts** of the interaction being cited (facts are undisputed things that actually occurred that are mutually observed and agreed upon).
-    3.  Once the facts have been established, the speaker then **shares the meaning that he/she/they applied to the interaction** and also how the interaction made him/her/they feel.
-        1.  As much as possible, the speaker should seek to take responsibility for his/her/their own experience and not put any blame on the listener by assuming negative intent.
-4.  The listener's responsibility during the withhold share is to really listen to the experience the speaker is sharing and attempt to understand it from the speaker's experience (what would it be like to be him/her/them?) without getting defensive. Remember, your job is to create the space for a release.
-5.  When the speaker finishes, the listener takes a moment to reflect back to the speaker what he/she/they heard, including what happened, how it made the speaker feel and the meaning that the speaker applied to it. The listener can also reflect back to the speaker his/her/their understanding of what it must have been like for the speaker and convey that it makes sense (this does not constitute agreement).
-6.  If the speaker feels that the listener didn't quite get what he/she/they was saying or feels that something additional needs to be added, the speaker can go over the situation again.
-7.  Once the speaker believes that the listener understands and feels ready to release the energy, the speaker says, "thank you for listening" and the listener responds with, "thank you for sharing".
-
-While this process can sometimes get a bit intense and it can bring up deep feelings, it is important to stay as present to what is happening as possible. Sometimes sharing of withholds can generate a need to share more withholds. It is okay to share a few to make sure the energy gets released although sometimes having a break between can help add time to process.