ALCOUNTING TELEGRAM BOT (FORTRAN-77 EDITION)

A PROPER PROGRAM FOR PARTY MANAGEMENT, WRITTEN IN GOD'S LANGUAGE - FORTRAN

TABLE OF CONTENTS (PUNCH CARD SEQUENCE)

C     CARD 1-10: DESCRIPTION
C     CARD 11-20: INSTALLATION GUIDE
C     CARD 21-30: DOCUMENTATION
C     CARD 31-40: CONTRIBUTING

DESCRIPTION

This magnificent piece of engineering is written in PROPER FORTRAN-77, none of that newfangled Python nonsense! Using time-tested principles of structured programming and fixed-format source code, just as nature intended.

FEATURES (ALL PROPERLY ALIGNED TO COLUMN 72):

• DRINK ORDERING SUBSYSTEM (TESTED ON IBM 360)
• ROLE-BASED ACCESS CONTROL (LIKE WE HAD IN THE MILITARY)
• MAGNETIC TAPE DATABASE INTEGRATION (OR SQLite3 IF YOU INSIST ON BEING MODERN)

INSTALLATION GUIDE

STEP 1: ACQUIRE PROPER HARDWARE

C     MINIMUM SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS:
C     - IBM MAINFRAME (OR EQUIVALENT)
C     - 64K WORDS OF CORE MEMORY
C     - MAGNETIC TAPE DRIVE
C     - CARD READER/PUNCH UNIT

STEP 2: COMPILE AND LINK

C     ON PROPER SYSTEMS:
      $ FORTRAN BOT.FOR
      $ LINK BOT.OBJ
      
C     FOR THESE "MODERN" MACHINES:
      $ gfortran -o bot src/*.f90 -Wall

STEP 3: EXECUTION

C     MOUNT APPROPRIATE MAGNETIC TAPES
C     LOAD CARD DECK
C     PRESS IPL BUTTON
      $ ./bot

DOCUMENTATION

PROGRAM STRUCTURE (PROPER FORTRAN MODULES)

C     /BOT/
C     |-- HANDLERS.F90    ! COMMAND PROCESSING UNIT
C     |-- DATABASE.F90    ! DATA MANAGEMENT SYSTEM
C     |-- USERS.F90       ! USER AUTHENTICATION MODULE
C     `-- MAIN.F90        ! PRIMARY CONTROL PROGRAM

ACCESS LEVELS

C     CUSTOMER ACCESS (PRIVILEGE LEVEL 1)
      - MENU VIEWING CAPABILITIES
      - ORDER PLACEMENT SUBSYSTEM
      - PERSONAL ORDER RETRIEVAL
      
C     BARTENDER ACCESS (PRIVILEGE LEVEL 2)
      - QUEUE MONITORING FACILITIES
      - ORDER CONFIRMATION PROTOCOLS
      
C     ADMINISTRATOR ACCESS (PRIVILEGE LEVEL 3)
      - COMPLETE SYSTEM CONTROL
      - MAGNETIC TAPE MANAGEMENT

DATABASE SPECIFICATIONS

C     RECORD FORMAT:
C     COLUMNS 1-8:   USER IDENTIFICATION
C     COLUMNS 9-16:  ACCESS LEVEL CODE
C     COLUMNS 17-66: USER PARAMETERS
C     COLUMNS 67-72: CHECKSUM

CONTRIBUTING

Note from The Fortran Community:

If you wish to contribute to this PROPERLY WRITTEN system, please ensure:

1. All code is written in FIXED FORMAT FORTRAN
2. NO GOTO STATEMENTS LESS THAN 3 LEVELS DEEP
3. ALL VARIABLES PROPERLY DECLARED IN COMMON BLOCKS
4. NO MODERN NONSENSE LIKE "OBJECTS" OR "CLASSES"

Submit your card deck to the operator's window between 0900-1700 hours.

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P.S. - These modern "pull requests" and "issues"... Back in my day, we submitted bug reports on IBM cards, and we LIKED it!

P.P.S. - What's wrong with FORTRAN-66? Kids these days with their fancy FORTRAN-77...

P.P.P.S. - Remember when we had to book computer time three weeks in advance? Those were the days!

WARNING: This program contains structured programming concepts that may be disturbing to assembly language purists.