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<article>
<p>时间最大的骗局,就是让你以为一切都还来得及。</p>
<p>人在迷惘的时候,会觉得无论怎么做都是错的,往前冲是莽撞,往后退是畏缩。在乎了,就怕失败怕失去;不在乎,又觉得自己没有认认真真地活着。于是,苦恼不断。</p>
<p>抱歉,我又来散播负能量了。每当这种万家欢乐的时刻,我的心头总有丝挥之不去的伤感,怅然若失。矫情得要命。</p>
<p>2016年的最后一天,到电影院看了《血战钢锯岭》。最戳中我心的,是那句“你为什么要留在这里”的质问。冥冥中感觉就是在质问我。</p>
<p>就在前两天,一个在深圳的大学同学来上海,于是几个老同学聚了聚,这个同学就建议我,可以试着再找找工作,或者离开上海,反正眼下的状态不是长久之计。我觉得他说得都很在理。我不知道自己还有什么理由留在上海。不过我觉得,去留并非问题的关键,想做什么才是。</p>
<p>2017年,我希望自己不再假装自己是个无欲无求的人,同时认真地思考自己真正想要的东西。</p>
<p>无欲无求的问题在于,得到的东西会越来越少,失去的东西会越来越多。世界就是这样,既然你不想要更多,它很可能会连你拥有的也一并夺走。正如道德经所言:“人之道,损不足以奉有余。”圣经里也说:“凡是有的,还要给他,使他富足;但凡没有的,连他所有的,也要夺取。”换句话说,不思进取就是一种罪过。你以为你无欲无求世界就会让你好过?</p>
<p>嗯,这很不正能量,而且很俗。我决心做个大俗人,那样或许就不会如此孤独。</p>
<p>新的一年里,应该会尝试着去认识更多的人。或许一百次交流,九十九次的结果都会令人失望(失望?你以为你是谁?你有什么资格失望?你失望是因为你眼里进了灰,看不到别人的优点!),但至少会碰到那么一次惊喜吧。人生,无非是在博一个个的概率事件。</p>
<p>新的一年里,应该会去几个以前没有去过的地方。</p>
<p>新的一年里,希望能找到另一半。</p>
<p>新年快乐!</p>

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<h2>世界的一角</h2>




<article>
<p>释迦牟尼在菩提树下打坐四十九天,开悟后说:奇哉,奇哉,一切众生皆有如来智慧德相,乃因妄想执着而不能证得。</p>
<p>但在众生看来,释迦牟尼这话也是凡尔赛。</p>
<p>就好像晶问我怎样才能少看手机,我说只要把手机放下就行了。</p>
<p>这或许可以说是成功学的悖论。</p>
<p>成功前,他的话没有人听,因为不具有说服力。</p>
<p>成功后,他就成了个例,因而也不具有说服力。</p>
<p>我的想法是,每个人都应该成为个例。</p>
<p>每个人都是世界的一角。</p>

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<article>
<p>所以说,自我感觉良好的时候还是别乱说话,容易打脸。昨天没有更新,虽然也凑够了字数,但就是不想发出来。刚好这两天看到这么一句话:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>失败,因为你其实太过傲慢。</p>
</blockquote>
<p>我想是我太过傲慢了。还以为自己每天都能找到题目并写出令自己满意的几百字。这不就是傲慢吗?</p>
<p>坚持写作的第三周,我开始有点迷惑了。到底是应该跟随自己的感觉,有感而发,还是应该刻意地坚持挤牙膏,为赋新词强说愁。一时没有答案。</p>
<p>还是说说傲慢吧。我想,认识我的人当中,恐怕没有一个会把傲慢这个标签贴在我身上。因为我总是表现得很“谦虚”。但我自己知道,我其实是有些傲慢的,只是我不喜欢把话说满,这样就不必担过多的责任。我不怎么喜欢这样的自己。</p>
<p>我有多傲慢呢?比如,我去参加面试或是在任何场合做的自我介绍,没有一次是经过精心准备的。我从小就不太爱讲话,也不知道从什么时候起,我心里就有了这么个想法,即使没有好的口才,也一样能活得很好。当然我现在是活得挺好。但是回头想想这个想法真是可笑。我是想证明给谁看,在跟谁赌气呢?</p>
<p>傲慢有的时候就是像这样,是心中的一口气,傲慢虽然不好,但我能真真切切地感受到它就是我的一部分,去掉了它,也就失去了自己。我想这就是所谓的“我执”吧。</p>
<p>我知道你们说得对,可是我就想按照我的想法来。这是傲慢,固执得可笑,仔细想想又有些心酸。</p>

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